Thursday, September 28, 2006

Alva - pole to pole



No great adventures today. Picture is not off Alva but Stirling, high street.

Dad seems to getting used to me being around. At first it disrupted his routine, me coming down from no where. As I said before there is nothing wrong with his mind and intellect but I can see that he likes routine. It is difficult for me to say what changes have occurred, as I have been away. There are somethings missing from his personality but not to the level off most stroke victims. When he gets tired I can empathize with him, some days I feel so tired that all I want to do is to crash out. If I feel like that now, what will I be like at my dads age. You will find me staring at blank walls, dribbling. Saying "I will do it today". Connection between between us is building.

Everyone I meet I want to hug. I think this is due to lack of intemecy with a MOTOS. I thought I was handling it well, but the cracks are starting to show. Hormones feel low though, no feeling of drive.

The spell checker is so shit for writely, come on pay the money and buy decent dictionary. Also I keep jumping word, thinking I typed them but it was all in my head. My word blindness us getting worse, and also the weird word association that goes on when I subconsciously change words. Instead of typing "a word" I typed "about".

Watched a documentary about Courney Love. Where some guys follows her around for a month or so. The kind of show that usually shows the subject of the program in a bad light. Mad person, distrubed, I prefer mad people to any other sort of person. I bet most bi-polar people have high IQ rates. The only thing stops me being crazy is not believing in myself. The time I do my most crazy stuff is when I feel over confident. Other wise I just stay in my corner. Viewing it all.

Ordered speakers today for the MAc. This is for the small studio I want to build and then make music from. Starting simple, end big.

I have not had a drink now for two weeks come Sunday. Good for me.

Sent a eMail to GP talking about HK.
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